I wanted to share our little model with you that I thought was really interesting. I’ve been giving this one a lot of thought, and I think it’s really specific as to how we can think about life, achievement and meeting all the things that we’re all trying to meet at the same time. So if you think about the triangle. I’ve often seen these ones are drawn as time, cost, quality. But let’s talk about peace, happiness, and success.
I think it’s pretty undisputed that we all want success and we also want to feel happy. None of us are sitting around going, “I don’t want to feel successful.” or, “I don’t want happiness. I don’t want peace.” either. I think that would be a total lie. We all want to feel at peace too, unless you don’t want then, you need to come to me for some therapy. However, they are all different and somehow we need to be able to feed them all so that we have this nice focal point of being able to get all three merged in together.
Let’s break them down a little bit and give them some structure because honestly, they do differ with each other.
Success is often viewed as tangible in terms of the job that we’re doing, or the contribution that we’re making, or how we go about connecting with people, bodies, and things on earth, or whether we’re taking care of our physical world to feel successful. For some people, it’s opening up some sort of foundation that’s going to help other people. For others, it’s raising kids and having a nourishing family life. And for some people, it’s doing some adventures out there in the world and hiking to some sort of amazing mountain. So let’s leave that up to you but either way, it does involve the physical and the tangible
But then, success is more than that. Let’s face it, our spirit or our metaphysical self or our higher self doesn’t need to have any particular type of success in the three-dimensional world. It’s us living and transacting in the world that wants to feel successful.
Peace is more about the head or the headspace. There’s a whole lot of things that come with the mind. For example, ‘have I got inner peace in my mind?’ there’s a number of things that go with that. If you want peace in the mind, you kind of need to be clear about what your values are so you’re not breaking them. ‘What’s important to me, and am I saying yes to the things that are and no to the things that take me away?’ Because if we are saying yes to things that we don’t really love, then there is no peace in that. It also requires some silence and solitude. To get true peace needs a little bit of stillness with self and a little bit of anchored time out. In a lot of Native American Indian traditions, they call that the ‘sacred silence’, and I promise you it is completely desirable when you get there. Peace is about anchoring and stilling moreover, also governed by how much nourishment you’re getting. Whether you’re being able to feed yourself so that you feel nourished and mindful and satisfied.
And then happiness is all about the heart or the heart space. So you’ve got the body- the hand space (success), the headspace (peace) and the heart space which is happiness. Happiness comes from lots of different ways but ultimately it’s filling up yourself with passion and joy and doing things that make your heart come alive. There’s happiness within the self, there’s the happiness in helping and sharing with others, and then there’s the overall contribution. We’re looking at quite a complex challenge living in this world.
We want tangible success whether that’s the right career, vocation or whether that’s raising a family or going on adventures in exploring the physical world. We want peace in our mind where we’re nurturing the silence, getting the stillness while committing to our values. And then we have the happiness that comes with filling up ourselves in sharing with others as a higher level of contribution.
What’s really important is to define all the three areas in your life.
What is in your success list?
What’s in your peaceful list?
and, what’s in your happiness list?
Get really clear. Get clarity on all three and then start to assess if they are conflicting with each other.
‘Is what I want or I’m doing conflicting with that?’
Start to work out these little niggles and try and have a look at ironing them out.
Sometimes, you might find there’s a between two of these values… ‘I want to do lots of busy, tangible, physical, driving actions to get my business off the ground but I really need to spend some time with silence and nurture myself to get more of a peaceful mindset. ‘
I really want you to think about where are you conflicting, define each point and take action on it.
You can’t just say, “There’s a conflict and I don’t care.”, and again if you don’t care that you have conflict in your life, you need to come back to me for some therapy. Sometimes, it’s about a compromise of sorts or sometimes it’s about what’s right at the present moment. Let’s say right now, I need stillness and peace because I’m really burned out. Make those agreements and choose. You will feel good about it. If you’re just caught up in this triangle of a mess, then you’re going to feel even more frazzled. I hope that helps and makes sense.
I love to hear any feedback. I’ve just sort of concocted this in my head recently so I’d love to hear what you think about that video!
Thanks for listening,