There is nothing more un-attractive than stress…
You feel tired. You look like crap. You have bags under your eyes. Your digestion slows because everything tightens up. You have a short fuse and find it hard to be present or find joy in the moment. Your garage door not working that day is enough to bring on tears. Your libido is low and you are probably stacking weight around your stomach. Need I go on?
We have so many busy distractions in our life and we are so consumed to “have” and to “do” that we really do forget that our precious Spirit and Body are dragging along behind the ego begging to have a moment’s break…
So why do we do it? I know exactly why… because we are trained to think that we need to accumulate wealth, to be safe, to be useful and successful in the world and to achieve all the major milestones that we are meant to (school, driving license, girlfriends/boyfriends, good body, university, job, money, car, house, marriage, family, wealth, better car, better house, better job role, great holidays, best flat screen tv and so forth). Or perhaps you don’t feel the need to accumulate but rather you feel you don’t have much self-worth or your confidence is in the rubbish bin. Maybe you’re stressed because you are anxious or bored or having fights with your co-workers or neighbours. Maybe you are in a bad relationship that is draining you or your parents still make you feel like you are 10 years old. Or maybe you are in no relationship and you feel like it’s never going to happen… argghhh
I have news for you
RELAX: NOTHING IS UNDER CONTROL
I have a theory that we mainly stress out due to control issues. We feel like we need to control all of the above so that we can feel or be happy. That we need to achieve a certain something or life is stressful. The one thing you do have under control is your inwardly reflected state of mind. You ability to be mindful and present with every moment. You ability to stay balanced and nourished so that your resilience to tricky situations is strong and clear and calm.
That relies on you having two KEY things:
1. A strong sense of SELF & BALANCE across the 4 counterparts to yourself – mental, emotional, energetic and physical. That way you address life as a strong and powerful being!
2. Seriously cool stress coping strategies so that you can put them in place should the temperature rise.
#1 the 4 PARTS to balance – can you say you are balanced in these key 4 areas?
A. Physical – body care, senses, goal
Activities include massage, exercise, eat well, personal fitness goal, rest, body ritual, dance, de-clutter your space (engage the senses)
B. Mental – personal goals and inspiration
Read for learning, inspired seminars, life coaching, personal achievement, learning a language, vision board (inspire the mind)
C. Emotional –fun/creative/engaging/joyful
Inner child fun, creative activity (paint, draw, cook, garden, sew, build something with hands, learn music), play music, go carting, shopping with girls, golf with boys, reading fiction or playing with your dog! (Not outcomes)
D. Energetic – connection, meaning, spirit
Fascination with nature , meditation, prayer, church (if you have a specific faith), connecting to other people you align with, discover your blueprint, find meaningful experiences, soulful fun, spiritual holiday, contemplation/present
What’s missing? They are all important!
#2 Coping Strategies:
1. In his book “Untethered Soul” by Michael A Singer – he talks about the fact that you have two choices when something upsetting or irritating happens to you. You can let it fester in the heart/lungs region which is where emotions lodge OR you can hold it there for a moment – take a big breath in and blow it OFF and out the back of your heart – choosing to let that thought/emotion go in an instant! I call it the “Heart in and Heart out breath exercise”
2. Anchor in ascent/essential oil that relaxes you.
If you can connect to a smell that relaxes you – take a great big whiff of it when you feel stressed. The sense of smell has no filter before it hits the brain so you immediately get a change in yourself.
3. You have several body stress points that you can press on to calm you.
Most notable is the one in the web of the hand. See image below. Grab a hold of it when you feel overwhelmed and press for 2 mins.
4. Bush flowers – these are a favorite of mine and they work very quickly.
We make up Emergency Essence or Inner Zen – which act to calm you down. Bush flowers work on the emotional water systems of the body and can create a profound change in state of mind when you feel under the pump. I have made my own mix called Inner Zen which helps with adrenal stress too.
5. Activate the ‘Creative’ right brain switch and let go of the ‘thinking’ left brain activity.
Stop what you are doing to feel stressed and either sit with your wrists and ankles crossed (that activates both brains) or do something that uses your senses (touch, smell, sound) to bring you back to your body. Make a cup of tea, do some gardening, go for a walk, listen to some music, work with your hands, get a quick foot rub etc. These activities are right brain and take you out of stress brain.
6. Use this great little mantra “It’s a first world problem!”
Are you starving, homeless or about to be killed? If not, it’s a first world problem… If you are in danger seriously, then you have the right to be stressed and need to find some support.